Tuesday, January 8, 2013

How To Attract Women

Considering the headline, you probably came here looking for advice on how to attract women, but I'm going to give you something even better!
Instead of listing a series of tricks, mindsets or lines that may magically work one day on a woman or two here and there... I'm going to help you work out what you can do so that you never have to learn tips to attract women ever again.

Does being the type of Man that women are naturally attracted to without using tips, tricks, methods or routines sound appealing to you?
If it does, read on!

The internet is overloaded with tips on how to attract women.

The advice ranges from tips on fashion and style to body language to actions and mindsets, but before you start wasting time trying to memorise all of these things in preparation for that big moment when you see an attractive woman, consider this:

When have you had the most success attracting women?
Is it when you go out and try to attract women? Or is it when you head out to have fun?

Is it when you're focusing on how to attract women? Or is it when you let go and just do what you want to?

Is it when you follow a structure that you learned from the internet on how to attract women, or is it those times that you head out planning to have the best time you can and you let that flow out in the way you interact with everyone?

It's not having the right set of tips to attract women that's your problem. It's thinking that you need to learn tips to attract women that is getting in your way in the first place!

You're already attractive, fun, cool and people already want to hang out with you, just not when you're trying to put on an act to try to manipulate them into being attracted to you.

The best advice I can give you to attract more women is to stop trying to attract women in the first place.

Now I admit, this is easier said than done. There is a reason you want tips to attract women. You believe that tips on attracting women are going to help you live the kind of life you aspire to live.

That's alright, it's good to pursue your dreams. There's no doubt that filling your life with beautiful women is going to change your life, but is it the most effective way?

Is it more effective to try to draw women into your life so that you can feel better about yourself, or is it easier to create the kind of life you want to live for your own sake and become a far more naturally attractive man in the process?

You can decide for yourself, but if you want to know more about why the Seduction Community Sucks, check out the links in my bio.

The basis of relationship

Relationships are the building blocks of our society. They establish interaction, communication and provide the method by which live in a society, city, country, etc. Relationships exist on a multitude of levels and each plays a role in our lives. Think about those with whom you interact with on a regular basis:

Spouse
Co-worker or Schoolmate
Supervisor
Employee
Parent
Child
Waiter or Waitress
Drycleaner
Friends
Family members
Pastor
God
Satan
Adversary or Enemy
Salespeople
Teacher
Student

Each of these relationships exists for different reasons in our lives. Each is founded on something different; our expectations, involvement and commitment to these relationships vary significantly. Some of our relationships have developed over long periods of time and others have been formed very quickly. Some of our relationships will last a lifetime, others are seasonal and still others are transactional.

Relationships are the key to happiness, fruitfulness and even holiness. How we interact with God, the devil and our fellow man determines just about everything in our lives. It is our relationships and our relating within those relationships that are the keys to our success and happiness.

Let's cover the simple things first:

Our Relationship with the Devil

The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. (John 10:10)

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)

Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. (Ephesians 6:11)

Whether we like it or not or even if we believe it or not; we have a relationship with the devil. He is the adversary of our souls. He seeks to separate us from God and to steal, kill and destroy in our lives. As a born-again believer your relationship with the devil changes from an adversary hell-bent on your eternal damnation to an adversary who was defeated by the risen Christ. When Jesus rose from the grave he spoke these words to His disciples:

"I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:18-20)

As believers we have received delegated authority from Jesus to live in victory over the strategies, temptations and devices of the devil. We have been commissioned by Christ to enforce His victory over Satan by liberating the captives; preaching the gospel.

The basis of a Christian's relationship with Satan is the redemptive work of the Lord Jesus Christ. We have our dealings with the powers of darkness based on our relationship with Jesus. As a result of this relationship with Jesus our interaction with the devil is victorious. If we interact with Satan or demonic power outside of a relationship with Jesus Christ there can be no expectation of victory. It is only through Jesus Christ that humanity can be set free from the power of the enemy.

Our relationship with God

All human relationships with God must be established on the lordship of Jesus Christ.

Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)

There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved. (Acts 4:12)

Our perception of who God is and who Jesus is determines our relationship. What position have we given to the Lord in our lives? Is He the Savior who came to forgive our sins and rescue us from hell? Is He the King of kings and the Lord of lords? Is He Almighty God, who rules the heavens and the earth? Is He the absolute Sovereign of the universe? Is He I am that I am, the God of the eternal present tense? Is He the one in whom we live, move and have our being? Is His Word truth, life and even law? Who have we made Him in our lives?

The answer to these questions definitely determines our interaction with God. The answers to these questions are a revelation of who God is in our lives? Simply, He must be God. We cannot embrace God in only one facet of His being or character. We cannot honestly decide which truths about Him are acceptable to us or which part of the scriptures we will choose to believe if we honestly believe He is God. Does this mean that we are perfect? No. We are still being changed into His image, from glory to glory, as we surrender more of our lives to His lordship. If Jesus Christ is God Almighty and we truly believe that He is then our relationship with Him must be built upon more than just love. If He is God then there is a holy reverence and awe in this relationship. Though we have been redeemed and adopted into the family of God, our relationship is only possible because of grace. It is this element or basis of relationship that causes us to pursue God, always remain thankful, praise, worship and obey the scriptures. As a Christian we cannot have a biblical relationship with Jesus Christ unless He is both Savior and Lord.

Let's talk about the complicated things.

Our Relationship with People

It is normally our relationships with people that complicate our lives the most. The main reason is that there is imperfection on all sides of the relationship. Everyone involved in a human relationship is susceptible to failure. We all are the products of our relationships, decisions and experiences and depending on those relationships, decisions and experiences we may see the world in radically different ways.

I don't want to be Dr. Phil; but I want o give you a few basic points that will assist you in relating to people from a biblical standpoint.

1. God loves every person equally and wants them in heaven with you.

This is sometimes hardest thing for the believer to truly grasp. The Christian foundation for relationships with every human should be love and more specifically God's love. The realization that God loves your friend, family member, co-worker, spouse, child, IRS Agent, salesman, employee, boss, bully or mean girl at school or even the jerk you can't stand will change your perspective on how you relate to them.

This realization does not change the facts that you already know about these people, but it does reveal additional facts about these people that gives you a clearer picture of who they are. Regardless of their sins, their crime or even their obnoxious behavior, God wants to save everyone you love, everyone you are indifferent towards and even everyone you dislike or despise. The offer of salvation goes out to all and this is one of the foundations for the relationships that we have. If you will allow this fact to be settled within you it will change how you relate to people.

2. Relationships are not always equalOne of the greatest reasons for failure in relationships is a lack of candor and clarity between the parties in the relationship. When the basis of the relationship is different and the expectations of the relationship are different and there is a lack of communication concerning this there tends to be a lot of drama and/or disappointment arising out of the relationship.

You feel "A" towards a person and are operating under the assumption that they feel "A" towards you as well. "A" could be love, friendship, respect, or any number of things. Drama occurs when "A" does not exist where we thought it did or where "A" does not exist in the same intensity we thought it did.

To be plain, you are not a mind reader. If you assume feelings and sentiments without discovering them your expectations for the relationship are skewed and there is a greater chance for drama and or disappointment in the relationship because you have assumed what someone else is thinking or feeling. This is many times a result of being self-absorbed or selfish in a relationship.

You have a goal for every relationship that you are in. You may have never written it down or communicated it to the other person but it exists in your heart and mind. The other half of your relationship is in the same situation. They have a goal for their relationship with you. Understanding this will help you relate to people a lot easier. For a relationship to be successful both sides do not have to be equal nor do they need to have the same goals for the relationship. If this were true we could never have a relationship with God.

Think about the goals of a relationship on these levels for a moment:
Parent and a child
Pastor and a church member
Teacher and a student
Husband and a wife
Employer and an employee

None of these relationships are equal, yet all of them can be successful, fruitful and even loving. One of the major sources of inequality in our relationships is human need. Each of us has the same basic needs, but we each have different needs as well. Understand what the other half of your relationship needs from you. You don't have to spiritualize it or blow it out of proportion you simply need to understand it.

3. Relationships are not machinesOur relationships were not created in a factory and therefore they do not stay the same. As our lives changes and the lives of those with whom we have relationships change, our relationships change. Maturity, life goals, life changes, other relationships, successes and failures all play a role in the evolution of our relationships with others.

You are not the same person you were 2 years ago, 5 years ago or 10 years ago and neither are the people you are in relationships with. For relationships to be successful we must allow for the growth and change of others in our lives as well as our own growth and development.

Interests change, priorities change and yes, relationships change. We cannot be successful in a relationship by expecting someone to be who they were; we must interact with them based on who they are now.

4. Multiples levels of relationships are always complicated.

One of the greatest strains on any relationships comes when there are multiple levels to that relationship. Have you ever managed a spouse, child or friend in a working environment? Complicated.

Does this mean these complications to our relationships should be avoided? That's a big grey area and it greatly depends upon each individual relationship. My only word of advice is to realize that things will be complicated when you add additional layers to your relationships and that they will always change.

Conclusion

You have to relate and be in relationship with people in order to fulfill God's plan and will for your life. The success of your relationships will determine the success of your life. How you treat people and relate to people is a clear revelation of your character and faith.

Realize you are imperfect, love people with God's love, get to know and understand them, live the Golden rule and expect them to make mistakes.

When a relationship fails it is because all parties in the relationship failed. When a relationship is successful it is because all parties in the relationship have finally come to know and accept one another.

Succesful Long Distance Relationship

Long Distance relationships ar a real check to a couple\'s commitment and private limits. LDRs take an excellent quantity of effort to take care of and infrequently folks concerned in them, notice that they evolve into a state of feeling that they ne'er found themselves in before. once your partner is miles aloof from you, it's terribly straightforward to let things get it wrong associated lead your long distance romance to an early death. Some folks notice it tough to bridge the gap through communication, others become too smitten by what their partner is doing after they don't seem to be there and as a result they spiral down a road of jealousy and suspicion. They secret is balance and following some basic steps to stay your relationship healthy and powerful.

  • Communicate and visit regulary 
  • It can't be stressed enough however vital communication is for each relationship, particularly if it's AN LDR. With the gap operating to stay you and your steady apart, your defense is keeping all lines of communication open. It doesn\'t matter however you are doing it as long as you are doing it. each long distance couple ought to notice ways in which to speak that create each partners snug and happy. you'll speak on the phone everyday, send e-mails, faxes or text messages and no matter you are doing check that you share your feelings and expectations and be faithful each other. attempt to create the time to go to one another as typically as doable or as typically as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the sole issue you've got is that the phone calls. you would like to visualize one another up shut and private each probability you get. The key here is to line up some \"rules\" concerning frequency of communication and visits and follow them, consistency will facilitate a LDR survive. (Check our Communicate higher and Travel section)
  • Avoid jealousy and be trusting

    One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don\'t fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven\'t met or he/she didn\'t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won\'t pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
  • Be positive
    Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don\'t have \"face-to-face\" time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.